(Webmaster note: Although Mr. Savage calls himself a reporter, there has been no independent verification of the events described herein. This work of imagination is therefore being accepted as a tribute to his creativity and sense of humor, not as a factual account of events).

Attendees (as I remember):

Judy (Kober) Hirsch, Rodney (Twinkle Toes) Nottingham & Theresa Webster, Sandra (Norris) Stephenson, Kathleen (Mammenga) Boehle, George & Mary Lou Farnsworth, Judy (The Whip Franke) Vadala, Betty (Carroll) & George Higgs, Dick & Linda Mohr, Donna (Woodrum) & Mike Ohler, Bill & Pam Brown, Lois (Hobart) & Dean Ehling, Larry & Sharon Woods, Carol (Boom Boom) Beard, Ken (Sumo) Richards,

Hosts: Gary & Susan Savage

Chef (Alleged): Duane Terry Lee Savage

Entertainment: George Farnsworths 'Gasp and Wheeze' Mighty Kazoo and Triangle band, formerly the Fighting Engineers.
Lead Kazooer, Judy Hirsch, Second Kazooer Kathleen Boehle. Lead Triangler, Dick Mohr, Second Linda Mohr.

Events/Participants

1. Cooking: Chef Duane found that by leaving cheese sticks in the boiling oil longer than the recommended time, allows the cheese to drift to the bottom of the pan, leaving the shell hollow and intact thus creating the “cheese flavored hollow breaded sticks hors d'oeuvres”.

Contests/Athletic and mostly otherwise:

2. Lighting the bonfire: Mike Ohler, Gary Savage. Gary forgetting everything remotely connected to the Cub Scouts, dumped half a can of lighter fluid on the logs, lit the fire only to have it dwindle to smoke in one minute. Mike got the fire started again using twigs and breathing hard on the embers. Mike declared the winner by Judge Judy (who by the way was resplendent in a bright blue pant suit, patriotic blue for sure!!!).

3. Spitting in the Wind: Too numerous to list except for the finalists, Ken Richards and Lois Hobart. This was the first of Judge Judy's controversial decisions. She declared Lois the winner, ruling that although Ken's lower teeth had saliva on them when he spit, and they landed at a much greater distance than Lois's only spit, the teeth constituted an unfair advantage, therefore Lois was declared the winner.

4. Indian Wrestling (Leg Lock Style): Championship match contestants: Larry Woods and Bill Brown. As Judge Judy hit the count of three, the sound of pulled muscles filled the air, disabling the contestants. Judge Judy in her wisdom declared that Bill was the winner as his leg lifted at least three inches off of the ground before the muscle popped.

5. Thumb Wrestling: Championship match contestants. George versus Mary Lou Farnsworth. Mary Lou won the contest, although I thought the dropping of a very heavy glass bowl on Georges wrestling 'thumb' prior to the match was enough to disqualify MaryLou, Judge Judy ruled this to be incidental contact.

6. Sumo wrestling (?) match: Championship match contestants (only ones) Ken Richards versus Gary Savage. Both Ken and Gary maintaining the old school spirit, were dressed in matching Orange and Black 'DEPENDS', borrowed of course since we did not have the traditional Japanese wrestling gear nor the ceremonial rice. Ken and Gary substituted mashed potatoes for the ceremonial toss, which made the ring very slippery. There was much grunting and groaning, then the match started, the two warriors slipping and sliding in the mashed potato goop, Gary purely by accident broke the strap on Ken's 'DEPEND' causing an embarrassing moment. Judge Judy with her eyes closed ruled otherwise, that the move by Gary was intentional and awarded Ken the championship. I am still disputing the outcome.

Rodney asked that he not be called TWINKIE as it is offensive to his feminine side and on this day he is very much in touch with his femininity.

Rodney, fighting out of the PINK corner is dazzlingly dressed in a pink and gray tutu with matching pink ballet slippers. Carol, fighting out of the ORANGE corner, is in the more traditional boxing gear, dressed in orange and black and is chewing tobacco. The introduction is short (no pun intended), and Referee Judy sends the combatants to their corners.

The triangle rings for the first round (couldn't afford a bell) and Referee Judy signals for the fisticuffs to begin. Carol yells at Twinkle Toes, I'm going to get you, you little twit or something that sounded like that. Rodney responds with a well-executed pirouette and two left jabs to Carol's right knee. Carol spit tobacco on Rodney's left slipper, Rodney responded with Noverre's Seven, ballet movement's version of the Ali shuffle. Rodney then executed the petit jete followed by another brilliant pirouette. Unfortunately for Rodney, he/she slipped in the tobacco juice in Carol's corner, falling and opening a minor wound on the back of his head. Judy the Referee, woozy from the sight of blood, used the quick count method and Carol was pronounced the winner and still champion.

This ended the festivities, all had a good time. I look forward to hosting the 'gathering', maybe in the June/July timeframe. Your reporter and classmate,